Gone for Good
by newbiesam
Summary: Bella and Edward attempting to fix their friendship but hoping for something more. Maybe love? Rated M for Language
1. The Beginning

_Authors Note.  
_

_Hey. This is my first fan fiction. Hopefully you enjoy reading this because I really am having a great time writing it.  
Enjoy._

Oh. I dont own any Twilight characters or ideas. Totally Stephanie Meyer's.

BPOV

"Edward, why are you doing this now? You had your chance with me in high school. Why now?" I asked him.

"Because I love you. I always have. Bella, you have to believe me." He said through the door.

And you know what? That infuriated me. How the hell did he come off telling me he loved me? He's had so long to tell me. I had been dying for Edward to give me an opportunity and nothing. It had always been nothing. We were just friends, and I had finally come to terms with that.

I opened the door, not caring that my face was marked with tears, over him. God, I can't believe he still gets this reaction out of me. I would always be that same dumb high school girl who went gaga over this man.

"You've always loved me? Really? Then why didn't you have the balls to tell me what, 4 years ago? Why did you have to wait until now? I'm 20. We're adults! I'm not playing any high school games. I loved you so much, and I waited for you to reciprocate those feelings, but I got tired of waiting. It was a high school crush, and that's where it belongs…in high school. I'm sorry."

I closed the door behind me, knowing that I had lost my high school love and best friend, for good.

It's been 7 months since I last spoke to Edward. It was now late September; I was out at 9 o'clock at night with my best friend, Alice, searching for mascara and other beauty supplies that I was in desperate need of, so Alice says.

"Get this one! It's perfect, it'll bring out your eyes." Alice said as she shoved another tube of mascara in my face.

I rolled my eyes, "Please Alice, let's just go. I don't need that much mascara. Let's go home."

"Fine. I'm just trying to make you look hot for your date tomorrow."

I rolled my eyes, "It's not a date! He's just a friend. Nothing more. We're studying for my psych test. That's it." I said as I walked to the checkout line.

"Please. I see how Brendan looks at you. He's interested. And really, you should be too. He's so cute, and tall. And cute!" She squealed.

I hated to admit it, but she was right. He was cute and tall. God, he was really cute and so nice. He was always willing to be my study partner, and I didn't mind at all. He was the smartest guy in that class. Suddenly I didn't mind that I had the whole cosmetic aisle in my basket. I did want to look good for my study date.

We had been standing in the checkout line for less than two minutes when I heard a very familiar voice come from behind me.

"Which bottle of rum do you want?"

I turned around and there was Edward talking on his cell phone with a bottle of rum in one hand.

Shit.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." I said under my breath as I turned to face Alice.

"What is your problem? " She clearly had not noticed the presence of Edward.

"Turn around."

She looked and squealed, "Its Edward! I haven't seen him in such a long time. I want to go say hi. Please let me say hi. Please?"

"Are you insane? God no. Let's just go before he sees us. It'll be like we never saw him," I dropped the basket full of make-up on the floor, grabbed Alice, and started walking towards the door until I heard him.

"Bella? Is that you?"

"Fucking A." I thought.

EPOV

"So what bottle of rum do you want? Flavored? Wait. Which one? Seriously, just call me when you guys know what you want and I'll buy it. Yeah dude, it is not a problem. Yeah just call me back. Bye." I said as I hung up.

God. My roommates were so clueless sometimes. They would be calling me in five minutes telling me exactly what booze to buy for the party tonight. I don't know why I was buying the booze. It was suppose to be a party for me, but leave it to my roommates to forget about the alcoholic beverages.

I turned around to see the selection of rum. Flavored? I wasn't really into rum. I wasn't really in the mood to drink tonight, but my friends were not having that, at least not tonight.

I suddenly heard a squeal, "...Edward! I haven't seem him in such a long time…"

I knew who that voice was. I turned around and there was Alice being dragged off by Bella towards the exit.

"Bella? Is that you?"

She turned around. She looked flustered and not at all happy.

"Hi Edward." She barely whispered not looking at me.

"Hi. Hey Alice." I said as I looked at Alice.

"Hi Edward. How are you?" She said as she hugged me.

"Good. Same old same old. Going to school."

"I'm surprised we haven't seen you on campus."

"Yeah well. I usually do afternoon classes," I looked at Bella. She hadn't said a word since her non-enthusiastic greeting. "How are you guys?"

"We're good too, isn't that right Bella?" Alice said as she nudged Bella.

"Oh. Yeah, we've been great. You know just going to school." Bella replied awkwardly.

"That's awesome. Well it was good seeing you guys."

"Yeah you too." Bella finally said with some sincerity in her eyes.

God I missed her.

"Okay. Bye Edward!" Alice said with another hug.

"Bye." Bella meekly uttered.

I smiled but as I turned away that smile faded. She forgot. Bella my oldest friend forgot that today, September 30th, was my twenty first birthday.

BPOV

"Alice, let's go." I pleaded with her as soon as Edward was far enough away from us.

She just looked at me.

"Rude."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Bella, that was the most awkward conversation ever."

"Of course it was. Things didn't end well for us. After that night we didn't speak again."

"Still rude. You could've faked it."

"Faked what? I was trying really hard not to blurt out that I missed him or Happy Birthday!"

"It's his birthday? Go tell him!" Alice clapped.

"I can't. I'm not in his life anymore. It's weird if I go up to him and randomly say Happy Birthday."

"Not if it's his birthday. Just go. We'll leave as soon as you tell him." Alice pulled out her pinky. "I pinky swear."

"Alright. But right after we are leaving and you're paying for all the make-up." I said as I pinky swore.

She sighed, "Fine. I'll pay for all of it. Just go."

Sometimes, I despised Alice. She always had to meddle in my business. Now because of her I was wandering around a drug store looking for Edward Cullen. I didn't want to wish him a happy birthday. Well I did, but it was so awkward and uncomfortable, it didn't feel right. I was about to give up when I saw Edward in the candy aisle holding up a chocolate mint contemplating whether to buy it or not. I giggled. He hadn't changed at all.

"Edward?" I said shyly. I had no idea what else to say. I just stood there fidgeting, probably looking pathetic.

"Hi Bella." He said with a smile.

EPOV

She was so beautiful.

"Are you getting some candy too?"

She laughed, "Nope. I just came to say Happy Birthday."

I smiled, "You remembered?"

"Of course I did. We've spent every birthday together since we were fifteen."

"Well thanks." I didn't know what else to say.

"Your welcome." It didn't look like she knew what to say either.

"So?" I reached up and pulled my hair.

"So…" She bit her lip.

This was awkward. What do I say? What do I say?

"Do you want to come over tonight? Jasper and Emmett are throwing me a birthday party. You and Alice are more than welcome if you'd like." I offered hoping that she would say yes.

"Uh. I don't know. We haven't hung out in such a long time. Won't it be awkward?"

"Of course not. It's never awkward."

She laughed.

"What are you talking about? It's awkward as fuck right now."

I laughed too, "Okay. Fine. It's pretty fucking awkward. But there will be booze there to loosen us up. And then it will definitely not be awkward. Pinky promise." I said as I extended my pinky to her.

"Fine. I'll go." She wrapped her pinky around mind.

"Remember. That's sacred Bella. You can't break it. So no awkwardness. You have to loosen up."

"I know. Pinky promises with you are sacred. I know. I have to get drunk. I know."

"Okay. Well I'll see you there?"

"Yeah. I'll get Alice, get dressed and then we'll be there."

"Alright. Awesome. See you then."

"Okay." She turned around and started leaving.

"Bella?" I said after her.

"Yeah?" She turned around.

"I missed you."

She blushed.

"You're lame."

I laughed. She missed me too.

_Reviews? Please?_

_Thanks._

_:]_


	2. Chapter 2

_Once again not mine. All Stephanie Meyer :)_

Chapter 2

_EPOV_

Bella never showed up to the party, not even a phone call. I sat by my front door waiting for her. Each time the door rang I would jump up, look into the mirror, frantically fix my hair and open the door, praying that it was her. It never was. My poor guests probably thought I didn't want them there. My face fell as soon as I opened the door and discovered that they were just random people. They weren't Bella. I decided to give up; I got up and walked towards the party when the doorbell rang. I walked towards the door; I didn't even look at the mirror. What for? Bella wasn't going to be behind that door. I opened it and there was Alice.

"Edward!" Alice said as she jumped into my arms.

"Hi Alice." I smiled as I set her down.

She looked down at her feet as soon as she was back on the ground, "So you're probably wondering where Bella is?

"Yeah. But it's okay. I'm sure it was something important." I hoped.

Alice didn't meet my gaze. She jumped into the house and started walking towards Jasper.

"Right Alice?"

"Yeah. Whatever you say."

"Alice what happened?" She was starting to freak me out.

"Edward relax. She's fine. She just had to study. Her partner flaked for tomorrow so they had to reschedule for tonight. He was really…."

I interrupted her, "He?"

"Yeah. Brendan was really sorry for flaking but he had something to do. She's from her Psych class. They're like study partner people."

I suddenly heard myself say, "Okay." What okay? I didn't know what to think. Bella ditched my birthday party to study? It wasn't surprising. Bella had always been studious and responsible but I had never known her to have a study partner except for me but now there was this Brendan in the picture. Douche.

I walked over to Emmett, Jasper and Alice all of whom were well under the influence. I had no idea how Alice was so drunk. But I could tell she was feeling pretty good. Lightweight little pixie. I stared at them. We all had been friends for such a long time but when Bella and I stopped talking our group of friends sort of dispersed. It was like Bella and I got divorced and in the settlement Bella got Alice and Rosalie and I got Jasper and Emmett. This separation didn't stop Jasper professing his love to Alice and vice-versa and it didn't stop Rosalie and Emmett from hooking up every other weekend. Today had been the first time that I had spoken to Alice in seven months and I missed her. We had always been close. She was like a little sister to me. I was glad that her and Jasper were happy.

"So you got ditched tonight?" Emmett asked with a stupid smirk.

"He did not! Bella's studying with Brendan." Alice said while trying to stand up.

"Alice, sit down before you hurt yourself." Jasper said as he sat her down on his lap.

"So you got ditched for another boy? Classic." I hated Emmett.

"She's studying. Besides we're just friends. She can hang out with as many guys as she wants."

"Yeah right. I'm sure you're dying inside." Jasper always had a knack for knowing how I felt.

Alice giggled, "Edward is crazy!"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm fine. I just want to have some fun tonight. You only turn 21 once. Shots?" I asked as I brought four shot glasses.

"Hell yeah!" Emmett roared

I would have fun tonight. Bella and I didn't need to be there for every birthday. We were over the childish traditions. I would have fun tonight. I raised my shot glass towards my friends.

"To Edward!" Jasper yelled as we clicked our glasses together.

I smiled. Good friends, a party. I was content.

_BPOV_

"I'm so sorry that we to study tonight. I didn't mean to kill your evening." Brendan apologized.

He had apologized several times during our study date and he continued as he walked me to my house. He had turned out be an amazing guy. He was smart, charming, and incredibly thoughtful. When I met him at the library he had already bought me a latte. He was sweet and I was glad I came to study with him. But I felt so guilty that I hadn't gone to Edward's party. In all truth I didn't have to study. I had an A in the class. I would do great on the test, but I was curious about Brendan. I liked him.

"Brendan thanks a lot for the studying thing." I said as we arrived at my door.

"Yeah. It's no problem." He said as he bit his lip.

He looked nervous. God, Alice was right. He was so handsome. Deep brown eyes, complimented with short brown hair that curled at the ends and a perfect smile. He was tall with a muscular figure, a swimmers body to be exact. He was the epitomy of handsome.

"Well. I better get in. Its pretty late," I looked at my watch, it was midnight, "I'll see you in class?"

"Yeah. Night." He turned around and began to walk away.

I turned around and started searching for my keys when I heard his voice, "Bella?"

I looked towards him, "Yeah?"

"You look beautiful tonight."

I blushed. He was perfect.

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_Hope you enjoy._

_Please review, anonymous reviews welcomed. :)_

_Oh and to everyone who has reviewed, thank you so much._


	3. Chapter 3

All characters own by Stephanie Meyer. Everything.

Sorry about the lag. I had a really long chapter written up, but in the end I really didn't like how it flowed and carried the story along. But I hope you like this new chapter. Again, sorry for the delay. Enjoy.

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Chapter 3

**Bella**

My phone rang. I looked at the time, it was 4 a.m. I looked at the caller I.D. it was Edward. I immediately pressed ignore. I had to. I was not going to be that girl again. I had decided I would not swoon over his perfect face, his voice or anything about him. I would not fall in love with him again.

In our time apart I had started to fogret what his voice could do to me, but I was reminded at the grocery store. With only a glace Edward could have me wrapped around his finger. But I had to stop it. I had a legitimate shot with Brendan and I was going to take it. Edward had his shot. I wasted years on him, hoping and praying that someday he would be mine. But I knew that wasn't in the cards for us and I was okay. He could be my friend and I would be his. But I was going to look for my prince charming.

The phone beside my beeped. I had a new text message.

**Edward**

I had been pacing around my bedroom for about thrity minutes. Everyone had left two hours previous. It was 4 a.m. and I was heavily debating calling Bella. She hadnt called once and I missed her so much. My birthday wasn't the same without her.

"I'm just going to call her." I said outloud.

I dialed her number and waited for her to answer. But the line cut. She had rejected my call.

"Way to be a douche." I thought.

I sent her a text. I threw myself onto the bed, not waiting for a response and fell asleep.

**Bella**

"Way to ditch us last night. I thought you'd eventually show up." Alice said as she walked into our apartment.

I had spent the entinre day watching television and ignoring my cell phone. I hadn't seen the text from Edward. I didn't want to open it. I didn't want to see what it said but I was to chicken to delete it. I decided to ignore it for as long as I could. I felt like such a coward.

"I hung out with Brendan and the came home and fell asleep."

"Alone?"

I threw a pillow at her, "Of course alone. It wasn't even an official date."

She laughed, "I'm sorry. Hey, Edward told me he called you and no one answered. I just assummed that you were a little busy," She winked.

"No. Just asleep."

"I'm so tired," she threw herself on my bed and grabbed my phone, "it was a fun party. Oh. You have a text."

"From who?" I tried to play dumb.

She looked, "Edward Cullen."

"Oh. Just delete it." I tried to play the apathetic card.

"Why?"

"It's just a stupid chain text. Edward love those."

Alice furrowed her eyebrows, "Bella, he hates those."

Damn. She had caught on.

"Fine," I rolled my eyes, "what does it say?"

"It says, 'Just texting to say goodnight, well good morning. Have a good day. P.S. I missed you tonight.'" Alice said with a smile.

"Can you delete it now?"

"Bella! Why are you being so mean?"

"I'm not. Just my Edward phase has passed. I don't want to lead him on. So just delete it."

"You need to relax. He's not trying to get into your fucking pants. He's trying to be friendly. FRIENDLY. That's it."

"Just delete it." I was done with this conversation. I didn't want to fight with Alice.

"Bella don't be mean an ass. I told him about your date with Brendan and he was fine. He just missed his best friend and his 21st birthday." Alice got up from my bed and walked towards her bedroom, "You know you miss him too."

"I don't." I looked down.

"You're such a shitty liar. Just text him back. Tell him about your fucking date. That's what friends do."

"No! That's awkward."

"Only if you make it awkward. And if it is. It means you like him."

"I don't." I said, I was definitely not going down that path again. No matter what.

"Sorry to be so bluunt. But dear, you're always going to be tied to Edward. No matter what. You might try to forget about him and I'm not saying you wont. You probably will forget about him. But you will always be in his life and him in yours and you will always have some feelings for him. They may be little but they'll be there." She skipped out of the room.

"I hate you!" I yelled.

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Hope you guys enjoyed.

Review please and I'll be writing more frequently. Promise.

:]


	4. Chapter 4

All belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Everything.

:]

A/N: Okay, so I said that I was going to stop writing but I couldn't stop and I'm going to continue writing. And I know it's been a really really long time since I've updated but I hope there are still some people interested in this.

Anyways...

Enjoy. Review & Smile.

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**Edward**

So I never got a call back, a text, an e-mail...nothing. Bella never tried to get in contact with me. Which was rude. Incredibly rude. I didn't know what had gotten into her, the least she could've done was called. Apologized for missing my party, for breaking the SACRED pink promise pact. She new better and she would've been all up on my junk if I had ever broken the SACRED pact. But even though I was pist I couldn't get rid of my constant need to see her. I missed her so much. I think I'm starting to irritate the shit out of Emmett and Jasper.

"Edward!" Jasper yelled as he pounded my bedroom door.

I looked up to my alarm, 7:04 a.m. On a Saturday. Hell no.

"Go away!"

He ignored me. Jasper let himself in with Emmett behind him. I covered my face.

"Edward, I think you should get up." Emmett said as he jumped on my bed.

"No."

"Edward, I think it would be good for you."

I uncovered my face, "Fucking a."

I sat up forcing Emmett to stop jumping.

"Get up now. We are hanging with the girls today..." Jasper said apathetically.

"The girls?" I asked.

"Yup. Alice and Bella. We're meeting them for breakfast at Pepe's."

"Why are you going?" I glanced at Emmett.

"Alright just because Rose isn't in the country doesn't mean that I don't want to go. And I'm hungry."

I got up and began getting dressed, "Does Bella know I'm going?"

Jasper laughed, "I actually think she has no idea she is even going to breakfast."

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

**Bella**

I can't believe that Alice had thought it was okay to wake me up so early to eat. I hate breakfast food and she knows I hate Pepe's. It's so gross. It had been the cool place to go in high school with their disgustingly greasy breakfast burritos that I swear to God were bigger than Alice. But I didn't want to go. That place was the poster child for diarrhea.

"Alice, please. Let's go home." I was begging her.

"Oh come on Bella it'll be fine. You love breakfast burritos." She said as she parked her car.

I laughed, "And that's where you're wrong! They're gross!! And you agree. You only ever agreed to coming here because the boys, especially Jasper, loved it here. But you know it's gross." I said as I got out of her car.

"That's a lie. I've always loved breakfast burritos?" Her statement sounded more like a question.

Alice sat down outside of the restaurant, looking around as if she were looking for someone.

"What are you doing? Let's go inside. It's cold as tits out here." I walked towards the door but was stopped by a very strong Alice. Damn-it, she was little but she could handle her shit.

"You need to relax. We're waiting for people." She smiled her evil smile.

"What the f, Alice. Who did you invite?"

I heard a car parking behind me.

"You invited Edward didn't you?"

"Maybe? Come on. It'll be fine. He's your love remember?" She said with a glint in her eyes.

"Alice, really? Why would you do that? You know I've been avoiding him like the plague." Her eyes got big as I continued with my rant, pleading for me to stop but did I listen? No. I never fucking learn. "I'm trying to forget him. Remember Brendan? The guy I'm seeing? That's the only guy that I want to be seeing."

"Oh. So you're seeing someone? Congratulations Bella." Edward said from behind me.

Fuck my life.

**Edward**

_"I'm trying to forget him. Remember Brendan? The guy I'm seeing? That's the only guy that I want to be seeing._

God those words were painful to hear. She really didn't give two shits about me. She was busy with Brendan or whatever his name was. On the way over to Pepe's I had been excited to see Bella. I kind of just wanted to forget about the birthday fiasco and just hang out with her like we use to. No pressure. Just the four of hanging out. And then maybe talk to her later about everything. But I guess there isn't much to talk about since apparently I'm "the plague".

"Hey Edward." Bella said as she turned around. She was not happy at all. She looked like she was going to kill someone. My money was on Alice or me, whoever she got to first.

"Hey."

"So...let's get inside. It's cold out here." Bless Alice's heart she was trying to make this situation less awkward.

"Yeah. Let's." Jasper, Emmett and Bella followed suit.

Alice stayed behind her eyes filled with tears, "I'm so sorry Edward. I didn't think she was going to act like that. You know how she is in the morning. She's all bitchy and shit. God, she needs to get laid. See that's a good sign. She's still bitchy and grumpy which means the Brendan hasn't stuck his peen in places where YOUR peen should be. That's a good thing, right?"

I laughed at her and gave her a kiss on the forehead, "Thanks for trying but maybe we're done...I mean we never really were anything. Maybe it's for the best."

She rolled her eyes, "We all know that isn't true."

"Yeah well it sounds like she fucking hates me."

"She doesn't. You're Edward. Her best friend. She loves you."

"I doubt it. Not right now anyways. And I don't think she wants to fix anything." I said looking down.

"She will. Eventually."

"I hope. I just want to be friends again."

She smiled, "You're a shitty liar."

I laughed, "I'm fucking serious."

She rolled her eyes, "Alright. Let's head inside."

I followed suit. All I wanted with Bella was my friend back. That's all. Her little monologue had made it clear that she didn't want me at all. I would settle being her friend. It would be okay. I would have my best friend back and everything would be okay. Eventually. I hoped so anyway.

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Reviews? Thanks :]


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